What happened to the f-bomb? Where did that lovely potent nugget of language run off to? It’s like the bison of the English language, hunted down and overused until its almost gone. Oh sure, the word is still there, but what strength does it have? It’s time that we made a new curse word, one that when uttered by anyone will cause old women to faint and gentlemen to slap the offender with a glove. Let’s bring back the chutzpah that language once had!
Not that I’m advocating running down the street using profanities, there are still a few that will get you clocked by anyone with class. But there’s a certain romantic feeling that’s missing the way that curse words are thrown around these days. They’re slowly becoming more evident on tv, the internet is actually 50% ones and zeroes, 50% curse words, and none of those curse words mean anything.
Language, words in particular, are like money. The more they’re used, the more of one particular format out in the wild, the less each one is worth. If everyone in the world was a king, the word king wouldn’t mean anything, some new word would be used to differentiate the commoners from snooty, robed miscreants.
The same old curse words have been sitting around for so long, that they’re loosing their luster. Like violence, we’ve become desensitized to it. Shout a swear in a crowded theater and people will just look at you funny, so long as you’re not watching a re-release of “Milo & Otis.”
That’s why I suggest that President Obama creates a Swear Word Stimulus package, comprised mostly of nonsense words Joe Biden utters when he stubs his toe or drops a plate. With a little bit of government intervention, these new curse words will ease some of the burden placed upon the old ones. Now, eventually these new phrases will become obsolete, but we can leave the matter of rejuvenation up to our children. They’ll be uttering plenty of expletives when they see the bill we left them.