Hey everyone, let me extend apologies for the mishap in the print edition of the opinions section today. Instead of being labeled “News editor” and “Senior reporter” as had initally had them, two members of the Pendulum’s staff somehow came to be horribly misspelled communists. It’s one of those things that shouldn’t slip through the net, after my return to the transplanted office after leaving for other obligations, I should have gone over the section more thoroughly than I did, to be honest I made an assumption that none of the bylines would be different. But, making assumptions singals a degree of complacency and ineptitude, so to the readers and to Margeaux and Laura, I offer my most sincere apologies.
Let me now assure troubled readers that there are no dangerous communists on staff, and that the Pendulum is not some socialist rag. Remember, Laura accused President Obama of being a socialist earlier in the year. Rest assured that your beloved paper isn’t in the grip of some vast communist conspiracy. We’re all just normal folk who sometimes slip up, and in my case, allow presumption to take hold of the critical eye needed from an editor.