VMA: Visual Massacre Attempted

This year’s MTV Video Music awards were absurd.

Absolutely. Absurd.

Every moment of the pre-show made me cringe. There were constant updates via twitter feed. Who tweeted about Justin Bieber?

Little baby. Tiny little child.

What about Lady Gaga? Did anyone ACTUALLY tweet about these people? Lady Gaga was a sight to behold, toting two discharged victims of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” whom she consistently advocated for throughout the night, especially during her numerous acceptance speeches. At times, I was confused as to whether I was watching a political rally or an awards show, but her attire normally brought me back. There was a wild ‘white’ carpet performance by Will.I.Am (In blackface, no less), with Nicki Minaj,

No!

in futuristic, skintight neon colored spandex. Horrible. There was a brief stint of heartfelt satisfaction with Justin Bieber graced the stage in too-low jeans, only to dissapate when the incessant comments of pedophilia were uttered by Chelsea Handler.  Usher seemed well beyond his prime, Jersey Shore cast-mates wore out their welcome (in a hot tub? Really?), and Eminem and Rhianna (both victims and perpetrators of abuse) sang the song that is flowing over airwaves nation-wide. Taylor Swift performed barefoot, Cher came out in a thong and see-through body suit and Lady Gaga,

It's a dress made of meat. NBD.

thrust her purse made of meat into her arms while accepting her award, and to finish out the evening, there was Kanye West, in the brightest red suit I’ve ever seen, playing a keyboard like a kindergardener, while calling for toasts to “douchbags”, and “jerk-offs”.

Douchebag, indeed.

Does that sound like a mess? It certainly was. If you haven’t seen it, make it a priority, if only to scoff in disgust at the mess our pop culture has become. Or don’t. You have better things to do.

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