Tag Archives: North Korea

From North Korea with love

A perfect image of North Korea. Unnecesary military technology set against a barren landscape.

A perfect image of North Korea. Unnecesary military technology set against a barren landscape.

Well, North Korea went through with its threats and launched their long-range rocket, failing to reach U.S. territory or break into orbit, both negating any American intervention and all shreds of legitimacy North Korea’s stated intentions of “the state long-term plan for the development of outer space,” may have had.

That is, if you’re going to believe Old Glory’s stance on the issue, as Russia seems to agree with North Korea, saying that they’re currently tracking the launched communications satellite’s trajectories right now. But given North Korea’s lengthy list of failed missile launches and generally inadequate technology, the only thing that could have carried any satellite into orbit would have been Kim Jong-il’s hot air.

The Obama administration will most likely condemn the test, along with the majority of the world community, and North Korea will bluster about like a delinquent who crossed out the F on his test and replaced it with an A. Eventually regional talks will start up again, some sort of agreement will be reached to decrease military tensions, and in a few years this will all happen again. It’s nice to know some things in life are dependable, isn’t it?

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Filed under International, Military, Morgan

When baseball matters

Thanks Ichiro. Not only do you show our 'roid monkeys how baseball should be played, but you helped North Korea.

Thanks Ichiro. Not only do you show our 'roid monkeys how baseball should be played, but you help North Korea as well.

Usually baseball is a sport that has little international significance. Soccer/football leads entire nations to spill into the streets and ignite things in joy or despair, all of the Olympic sports have great bouts of nationalism attached to them every four years, but baseball always seems to be a highly isolated affair.

Until Japan beat South Korea 5-3 in the World Baseball Classic, on Monday that is. In a nail-biting 10 inning battle, international relations can elaborately and completely falsely be thrown amiss.

Right now, North Korea is loading their Taepodong rocket onto a launch pad, preparing for the launch of their “communications satellite” early next month, a launch that could very well be the most poorly-conceived missile test ever.

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Filed under International, Morgan, Sports

The rats stay on the ship

While the ship's sinking, the Captain's canoodling with your wife with a glass of rare cognac.

While the ship's sinking, the Captain's canoodling with your wife with a glass of rare cognac.

Isn’t it a bit much for an all-powerful dictator to summon Italian chefs to sit offshore after having their brains and urine examined for the purpose of training domestic chefs in the fine art of … wait for it … pizza. North Korea, once again, has topped itself. Twisting and turning around its own logic like a mindless corkscrew, the lengths at which he goes to make a pizza (as the secret recipe of dough, tomato sauce and toppings has eluded their spies for years, I suppose) goes to show that anything is possible.

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Filed under Business, Government, Morgan